Saturday, January 29, 2011

I just want to be perfect,

Your worthless. Your ugly. Your hopeless. You will never make it. Your bad.
Those are my normal everyday thoughts, reading them you would think wow that girl needs some help.
maybe i do? being in a ballet studio for up to10 hours a day cant be healthy for one. looking in the miror trying to achieve something ultimately impossible seems to be pointless...but not for me. Being put through physical and emotional pain is an everyday event for me. Being pushed past my limits is just a daily fact of life. Ballet can be my worst enemy its as if im always fighting the waves of a storm in the ocean, for years and years im fighting against it but for just a moment it lets me in and i become one with the water and im invincibe. Thats when Ballet becomes my best friend those are the moments where it all comes together its like the first time your on stage. The high we can accomplish from are hard work paying off is more then you could ever feel doing something that didnt bring you so much pain. So you just have to work hard enough  hoping someone sees something special in you and when someone feels what your emoting on stage through your body thats when its all worth it. IT'S PERFECT.

just perfect

Black Swan




 I had the craziest dream last night. I was dancing the white swan. It was different choreography though, it was more like the Bolshoi's. It was the prologue, when Rothbart casts his spell.